Doctors = reality checks

     Doctors = reality checks....Feb 1st I went back to the clinic that I had the colonoscopy and he kept telling me how good it was that I went when I did and I didn't wait.  He also kept looking at me with such compassion,  finally he told me I had a long road ahead of me and it was going to be difficult.   What the freak was that about!?  I said as I left the office.  I had no idea that I had come so close to being stage 4 cancer!! I didn't realize I was literally days away of the cancer spreading to my liver and lungs, and that it is as deadly as it is.  I guess as I am ready for more info I get it.
     Feb 10th I go to the oncologist.... Holy smokes another reality check....I have to have chemo for 6 months, but not only that its different drugs and chemos that take over 2 days!!! Not expected again!! I go in get an infusion for 2 hours go home with a fanny pack of chemo for 24 hours go back and get 2 more hours infusion and go home with an other fanny pack for another 24 hours. Go back in for some shots and they unhook me. For me to do it again in 2 weeks... First of all, seriously a fanny pack!!! hello people I have an image to uphold!!! second of all, after all that... there are no guarantees! it could still come back, but that means Liver or Lungs...but can't worry about that right now.  I have to stay positive.
     Feb 15th I  went to the surgeon to talk about the porta cath that will be necessary... um yucky and scary but better than needles!!! I get that done on Friday the 18th.  They don't put you completely out for that,  Lord help me not say anything embarrassing!!! I won't hold my breath....
     Then I can start the chemo...