I finished my chemo Aug 10th yeah!!! Aug 15th I got my blood drawn for the cancer markers, and on the 29th I had a CAT scan to make sure the cancer had not spread.
I got a call from Dr. Hansen's office telling me I needed to see my gynecologist cuz the CAT scan showed a cyst on my ovary. Ugh here we go again! So I figure they will put me on birth control and I need a pap smear and mammogram anyway so I make an appt. and I go to doctor Kammayer On Sept. 6th.
Well it turns out it's not a cyst in my ovary its a mass growing on the outside of my uterus and ovary. It had shown up in the original CAT scan in January but they had not told me about it or done anything about it, but it had grown over a cm since Jan. and it was very concerning to the doc. so he referred me to a gyno-oncologist in Salt Lake. I go to him on Tues. Oct. 4th. I am pretty much in the dark on any of the details and I don't really know what to expect. I am pretty sure I will be having surgery to remove it, but I don't know the extent of the surgery or anything. I just hope and pray it is NOT cancer!!!!
About Me
- Shelly :)
- I am 47 yrs old, but I don't look a day over 45 Lol. I have the best family ever, 3 sisters and 4 brothers and Wonderful Parents. I have done hair for almost 27 years and I love it, and my customers So So much!!! I am so blessed. and.. I have been fighting stage 4 colon cancer for 3 years.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
It's been way too long!!!
Today is Sunday Aug.6th, Tomorrow is my last treatment. It has been a long, hard battle and I wish it was over. The last couple treatments have been hell. They have made me so so sick and tired and my body hasn't been able to bounce back very well. My feet are numb, my finger tips are numb. My legs are weak and my body is just tired. My hair is thinner and crazy! I can't do a thing with it!. I have had hot flashes non stop for the last week. They didn't tell me that the chemo stops the production of hormones, and throws you straight into menopause!!! No easing in just full on!!! No fun!!!
After I am done with the chemo I will get a CAT scan and chest X-ray and blood work to make sure we kicked this in the butt. I will try to update my blog more often since I will soon start feeling better. :)
After I am done with the chemo I will get a CAT scan and chest X-ray and blood work to make sure we kicked this in the butt. I will try to update my blog more often since I will soon start feeling better. :)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
more complications....
So now I am developing an allergic reaction to one of my chemo meds!!! its actually a pretty mean drug, but it is vital to my treatment, it amplifies the actual chemo drug and makes it work better. It has lots of side effects like I am very sensitive to cold, can't eat or drink anything cold, it is very uncomfortable, and if I touch cold my hands get pins and needles that sometimes take hours to go away.
Any way last treatment a couple days after, my throat closed off, and I was having difficulty swallowing and I noticed my hands were red. both signs of allergic reaction.... I get the drug on my first day of treatment and I say to Tony look my hands are turning red again, and itching, my lips and tongue was tingling also, Tony tells me to tell the nurse, I think its no big deal, but Tony tells her and it turns out its kinda a big deal. oops Lol... they gave me 2 doses of benidryl and more steroids and who knows what else. Next treatment they have to slow down the drip and watch me closely, she said I will now be there at least 2 or 3 hrs longer on the first days!!! I am already there 6 hrs!!! but I could have a severe reaction if not watched closely.
I am getting used to having nothing go smoothly that has to do with this whole situation.
Any way last treatment a couple days after, my throat closed off, and I was having difficulty swallowing and I noticed my hands were red. both signs of allergic reaction.... I get the drug on my first day of treatment and I say to Tony look my hands are turning red again, and itching, my lips and tongue was tingling also, Tony tells me to tell the nurse, I think its no big deal, but Tony tells her and it turns out its kinda a big deal. oops Lol... they gave me 2 doses of benidryl and more steroids and who knows what else. Next treatment they have to slow down the drip and watch me closely, she said I will now be there at least 2 or 3 hrs longer on the first days!!! I am already there 6 hrs!!! but I could have a severe reaction if not watched closely.
I am getting used to having nothing go smoothly that has to do with this whole situation.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
5k fundraiser
I just completed my 4th chemo treatment so I am 1/3 done. Each treatment seems to be a little worse than the last though....It takes more out of me and it takes me longer to recover.
The bills are coming in and they are very scary, but I can't worry about that right now. My sister Dana and my family are having a 5K fund raiser for me on July 9th, they are really going to put on a great event for me . I am humbled and so lucky to have such support. It was a little embarrassing to me at first, but I am learning so much through this whole process. I will keep the 5k event and plans up to date as we know more. I hope to see everyone there!!!!! :) start training now!
The bills are coming in and they are very scary, but I can't worry about that right now. My sister Dana and my family are having a 5K fund raiser for me on July 9th, they are really going to put on a great event for me . I am humbled and so lucky to have such support. It was a little embarrassing to me at first, but I am learning so much through this whole process. I will keep the 5k event and plans up to date as we know more. I hope to see everyone there!!!!! :) start training now!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Happy to be back
Last week I worked a full week. It was great to have some normalcy back!!! and to see my friends again. I have missed Rocio and Whitney and everyone from Sears and my Clients!!! I felt pretty good too :)
This week is chemo week so I am working only a couple days. It has been brutal, but I think I am coping a little better this time.
This week is chemo week so I am working only a couple days. It has been brutal, but I think I am coping a little better this time.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Time to sink or swim :)
Last week was my second treatment, but first full treatment since I had so many complications with the first one, and boy did it knock my socks off!!!! It was brutal!!!! I was so so sick and so so exhausted and really felt blue. Food tastes yucky!!! Soup is about the only thing I can eat and thank you Shelley and Mindy for making me delicious soups!!!!!
I had to start back to work this week. After 23 yrs of working for my company I had only 90 days of FMLA and If I return after that my hire date starts over and I lose all of my benefits. So I am back at work which I am happy about, I have missed it and all of my clients, I just hope I can maintain an average of 30 hours a week or I lose my benefits anyway. My plan is to work as much as possible on my good week and bare minimum on my bad week. Just take one day at a time I guess.
I had to start back to work this week. After 23 yrs of working for my company I had only 90 days of FMLA and If I return after that my hire date starts over and I lose all of my benefits. So I am back at work which I am happy about, I have missed it and all of my clients, I just hope I can maintain an average of 30 hours a week or I lose my benefits anyway. My plan is to work as much as possible on my good week and bare minimum on my bad week. Just take one day at a time I guess.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
replacing the porta cath
I went and finished the treatments on day 3 and they unhooked me, they decided to skip one of the fanny packs at home since I would have been on chemo for 4 days instead of 3.
Thursday I met with surgeon and we set up the surgery for yesterday, Friday the 11th. I was so nervous cuz now having done it before, I knew what to expect. It went ok, even though I had a pic line they still put a IV in cuz they don't like to use the pic line! more needles crazy huh!!!
I felt horrible from the chemo on top of it all. They put me completely out with a tube down my throat this time. I feel like I was beat up today. sore from the bottom of my lungs to the top of my neck. but I am glad to have it over.
I also want to thank my family and friends for helping me and being with me every step of the way. I know how hard it is to see someone you love hurt and struggle and it makes emotions high. I know that Each and everyone of my family members love me and I hope that they can stand together in this process of the fight for my life. I am so blessed with such a wonderful family immediate and extended. and I couldn't ask for better friends. My dad gave me a beautiful blessing last night my Father in Heaven told me I was doing what I needed to do to return to Health and that I need to ask for His help when I feel I cant cope with the pain and that I would find that the power of prayer was stronger than any medicine could be. That I would feel relief immediately. The doctors are being guided in my care and will know what to do throughout this process. and that I have received many blessings and I have many in store. He also promised that my body would return to health after this whole process is done... I couldn't ask for a better blessing from my Father in Heaven. He loves me so much and I felt the Love from him and those that surrounded me. I am very blessed and I felt So much better afterward. I was feeling pretty discouraged and couldn't imagine doing this for 6 months. I was feeling overwhelmed physically, emotionally and my body was tired and I felt week. I really needed that blessing and my friends and families love :) I am blessed
Thursday I met with surgeon and we set up the surgery for yesterday, Friday the 11th. I was so nervous cuz now having done it before, I knew what to expect. It went ok, even though I had a pic line they still put a IV in cuz they don't like to use the pic line! more needles crazy huh!!!
I felt horrible from the chemo on top of it all. They put me completely out with a tube down my throat this time. I feel like I was beat up today. sore from the bottom of my lungs to the top of my neck. but I am glad to have it over.
I also want to thank my family and friends for helping me and being with me every step of the way. I know how hard it is to see someone you love hurt and struggle and it makes emotions high. I know that Each and everyone of my family members love me and I hope that they can stand together in this process of the fight for my life. I am so blessed with such a wonderful family immediate and extended. and I couldn't ask for better friends. My dad gave me a beautiful blessing last night my Father in Heaven told me I was doing what I needed to do to return to Health and that I need to ask for His help when I feel I cant cope with the pain and that I would find that the power of prayer was stronger than any medicine could be. That I would feel relief immediately. The doctors are being guided in my care and will know what to do throughout this process. and that I have received many blessings and I have many in store. He also promised that my body would return to health after this whole process is done... I couldn't ask for a better blessing from my Father in Heaven. He loves me so much and I felt the Love from him and those that surrounded me. I am very blessed and I felt So much better afterward. I was feeling pretty discouraged and couldn't imagine doing this for 6 months. I was feeling overwhelmed physically, emotionally and my body was tired and I felt week. I really needed that blessing and my friends and families love :) I am blessed
day 2 Chemo
I go in the next morning to have the blood clot taken care off. They tell me that the clot can not be removed and even if they did the port wouldn't last for the whole 6 months so I need it replaced. The last thing I want to hear!!! So then they tell me they will be putting a Pic line in my arm so I can finish my first round of Chemo.
It was very traumatic to me! I can't believe what I have faced so far in this journey. It was very painful and just grossed me out. They insert a wire into you vein and push it up the vein and into the heart. He kept telling me how tiny my veins were, not helping, then they were debating on the placement in the heart!!! Seriously people!!! I finally yelled they thought I was joking but I was freaking out.
After the placement I went back to get the second day of Chemo. It was much better through the pic line it. They sent me home with the fanny pack of chemo for 22 hrs. Nights have been the worse it makes me feel very restless and antsy and nausea and my legs ached, food tastes gross and a very high sensitivity to cold, I have to have gloves on to take items out of the fridge, I can't have ice or eat or drink cold foods, it's uncomfortable and even painful its a trip.
It was very traumatic to me! I can't believe what I have faced so far in this journey. It was very painful and just grossed me out. They insert a wire into you vein and push it up the vein and into the heart. He kept telling me how tiny my veins were, not helping, then they were debating on the placement in the heart!!! Seriously people!!! I finally yelled they thought I was joking but I was freaking out.
After the placement I went back to get the second day of Chemo. It was much better through the pic line it. They sent me home with the fanny pack of chemo for 22 hrs. Nights have been the worse it makes me feel very restless and antsy and nausea and my legs ached, food tastes gross and a very high sensitivity to cold, I have to have gloves on to take items out of the fridge, I can't have ice or eat or drink cold foods, it's uncomfortable and even painful its a trip.
day 1 chemo
So my first chemo didn't go so well. Monday March 7th at 9:30 am I went in for my first treatment at first it seemed everything was going well. They couldn't get any blood draw back from my port but It seemed to be working ok. I experience strange feelings and it tastes so so bad, like I am sucking on a nickle. I was getting pain in my neck and they were concerned the port had slipped out of my heart where it was supposed to be, so they sent me for an X-ray it showed it was in place, so they began the infusion again. Soon it started hurting my neck again so they stopped and sent me to get a CAT scan that showed a blood clot and that the placement was too high in my neck which was forcing the chemo up my juggler instead of into my heart. I finally left from the first day @ 6 pm and they were unable to complete the first days infusion. They scheduled a procedure called a clot buster for the next morning but I had to do it in radiology where they could monitor with CT scans because it was not just a blood clot but a cone shaped fibroid sheath...whatever that means!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
California or bust
So the day after I got home from visiting Lynette in Phoenix I had a doc appt to see how my porta cath was healing. It looked fine, other than the nasty blisters I got all around it, turns out I'm allergic to the tape. I scheduled my chemo... we had a week before that, so we decided to go to California that afternoon. It was a fun, quick 5 days but it was fun to go with Tony and relax and go where it's warm and go to the ocean, one of my favorite places in the whole world to be.
It was NASCAR when I was in Phoenix, and NASCAR in Vegas too lol.... Phoenix was ok, but that just meant there were no hotel rooms in the Vegas area!!! lol who knew :) I am glad we went, I wish we could go a little longer but I am happy we got away for a minute.
I start my chemo treatments tomorrow I am very nervous about it. The thought of poison slowly dripping into my body really creeps me out. And the side effects that is unknown until you start too. I like to know what to expect and all of the details, but it's such an individual thing when it comes to chemo. They told me I will have a metallic taste in my mouth while I am on the chemo so I have stalked up on mints and gum.
It was NASCAR when I was in Phoenix, and NASCAR in Vegas too lol.... Phoenix was ok, but that just meant there were no hotel rooms in the Vegas area!!! lol who knew :) I am glad we went, I wish we could go a little longer but I am happy we got away for a minute.
I start my chemo treatments tomorrow I am very nervous about it. The thought of poison slowly dripping into my body really creeps me out. And the side effects that is unknown until you start too. I like to know what to expect and all of the details, but it's such an individual thing when it comes to chemo. They told me I will have a metallic taste in my mouth while I am on the chemo so I have stalked up on mints and gum.
Got to sqeeze in some fun!!!
Last weekend I spent in Phoenix with my best friend Lynette at her beautiful home. We can just be ourselves and say whatever comes to mind, in fact we can read each others thoughts most of the time. The weather was wonderful compared to Utah, and we just enjoyed each other and Laughed and cried and laughed and talked just like old times!!! I miss her soo much and it's been hard for her to not be able to be with me in person while I have gone through this cancer stuff, but she has been there for me the whole time!!! We lived together through most of our 20s and we sure had A LOT of fun and a little trouble lol...I miss those days sometimes but we will be forever bonded and soul sisters :) Thank you Lynette and Randy for a fun relaxed few days, next time I need to stay longer.
Monday, February 21, 2011
one step closer
On Friday the 18th Dr.Carabine put the porta cath in. He placed it on my right side by the clavicle bone and attached to my neck blood vein. Today is Monday the 21st and it is still very sensitive. Now as soon as it heals a little bit more, I can start the Chemo... I am NOT looking forward to it! but the sooner I start it, the sooner I am done with it!! I am headed to Phoenix on Thursday until Monday to go see Lynette. I am so excited to go to the sunshine and have fun and relax with my best friend :) I need to get in as much sunshine as possible cuz I have to avoid the sun after I start the chemo :(.... I will be the fully clothed person on the boat this summer ha ha ha oh well got to do what you got to do ;)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Stop shooting at my hot air baloon!!!
In Shelly's world it's full of fluffy clouds, singing birds, rainbows, unicorns, and a smiling sunshine. And I am floating along enjoying all of it. But they keep shooting at my balloon! and letting out the air! and it keeps drifting into the dark valley, with the twisted trees, scary shadows, spiders, and snakes. I am working so hard to keep my balloon up in the fluffy clouds, but right now I am in the horizon. That is how I feel about this whole cancer crap...But all of my family and friends and Father in Heaven are helping me and lifting me up so that I stay out of the dark, scary, valley... and I am so grateful... and no I am not smoking anything either!!! LOL
Doctors = reality checks
Doctors = reality checks....Feb 1st I went back to the clinic that I had the colonoscopy and he kept telling me how good it was that I went when I did and I didn't wait. He also kept looking at me with such compassion, finally he told me I had a long road ahead of me and it was going to be difficult. What the freak was that about!? I said as I left the office. I had no idea that I had come so close to being stage 4 cancer!! I didn't realize I was literally days away of the cancer spreading to my liver and lungs, and that it is as deadly as it is. I guess as I am ready for more info I get it.
Feb 10th I go to the oncologist.... Holy smokes another reality check....I have to have chemo for 6 months, but not only that its different drugs and chemos that take over 2 days!!! Not expected again!! I go in get an infusion for 2 hours go home with a fanny pack of chemo for 24 hours go back and get 2 more hours infusion and go home with an other fanny pack for another 24 hours. Go back in for some shots and they unhook me. For me to do it again in 2 weeks... First of all, seriously a fanny pack!!! hello people I have an image to uphold!!! second of all, after all that... there are no guarantees! it could still come back, but that means Liver or Lungs...but can't worry about that right now. I have to stay positive.
Feb 15th I went to the surgeon to talk about the porta cath that will be necessary... um yucky and scary but better than needles!!! I get that done on Friday the 18th. They don't put you completely out for that, Lord help me not say anything embarrassing!!! I won't hold my breath....
Then I can start the chemo...
Feb 10th I go to the oncologist.... Holy smokes another reality check....I have to have chemo for 6 months, but not only that its different drugs and chemos that take over 2 days!!! Not expected again!! I go in get an infusion for 2 hours go home with a fanny pack of chemo for 24 hours go back and get 2 more hours infusion and go home with an other fanny pack for another 24 hours. Go back in for some shots and they unhook me. For me to do it again in 2 weeks... First of all, seriously a fanny pack!!! hello people I have an image to uphold!!! second of all, after all that... there are no guarantees! it could still come back, but that means Liver or Lungs...but can't worry about that right now. I have to stay positive.
Feb 15th I went to the surgeon to talk about the porta cath that will be necessary... um yucky and scary but better than needles!!! I get that done on Friday the 18th. They don't put you completely out for that, Lord help me not say anything embarrassing!!! I won't hold my breath....
Then I can start the chemo...
Monday, February 7, 2011
Me Knit! never say never
Saturday Feb 5th my sister Dana cooked dinner for me and my sisters Carrie, Jana, Mindy and Mom. It was so yummy and fun!! They gave me a Knitting kit and Carrie taught us the basics. I think I am going to enjoy my new hobby LOL...can't believe I said that ha ha ha
Going Home
Surgery was on Monday the 17th of Jan. I get to go home on Saturday the 22nd. I go to my parents home and stay there for a few days. It was nice to have my mom take care of me and cook for me and have the family around me. My family and friends get silver bracelets that say what cancer cant do...
It can not cripple Love. It can not Shatter Hope. It can not corrode faith.
It can not eat away peace. It can not destroy confidence.
It can not kill friendships. It can not shut out memories.
It can not silence courage. It can not reduce eternal life.
It can not quench the spirit
and necklaces that say Faith, Hope, & Love. The guys get blue cancer sucks bands and Dana and Carrie make bracelets for the kids. How cool is that!!!
Rocio set up an charity account at the credit union to help with my medical bills. My insurance is a joke more like a discount card. I have applied for help, I have no idea how I am going to pay for all of this, but I have faith that I will be ok. How can I not be with such a wonderful support system!!!
Thank you so much if you have put money in the account for me I so so appreciate it!!!!
It can not eat away peace. It can not destroy confidence.
It can not kill friendships. It can not shut out memories.
It can not silence courage. It can not reduce eternal life.
It can not quench the spirit
and necklaces that say Faith, Hope, & Love. The guys get blue cancer sucks bands and Dana and Carrie make bracelets for the kids. How cool is that!!!
Rocio set up an charity account at the credit union to help with my medical bills. My insurance is a joke more like a discount card. I have applied for help, I have no idea how I am going to pay for all of this, but I have faith that I will be ok. How can I not be with such a wonderful support system!!!
Thank you so much if you have put money in the account for me I so so appreciate it!!!!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Recovery
I am brought to my room and I have a VERY cute male nurse :) lol that works..... later I get 2 more cute male nurses.... I thank my guardian Angel ha ha ha.... I am still a little foggy the nurse tells me I can have some Ice chips ( this is day 9 of no food and he tells me I can have one and a half cups of ice that is it) I joke with him that's fine if its over fruit punch. My family come in the room and I just want to hold their hands and connect with each of them. I love them so so much! I am seeing double and I tell my sister Jana " It's a good thing your pretty cuz I can see 2 of you" Clint and his Family bring me flowers I love them! I am so happy, as strange as that sounds, with everything I am going through and facing, my family and friends and clients show me so much love and support that I am so blessed and happy and strengthened. The flowers are the 1st of many and I love and appreciate each one that I get. Dana & Carrie come have lunch with me everyday and I have so many visitors each day. All of my little nieces and nephews make me get well cards. they bring so much joy to me. Tony doesn't leave my side the whole time. The nurses tell me how good the room smells from the flowers and comment on how many visitors I have. I am so blessed
I have a few complications, the epideral is in too far and my legs are completely numb. I am not able to get out of bed like I'm supposed to. I have very sharp pains in my bladder. They have to remove the epideral, they are concerned that I may leak spinal fluid so I have to lie flat while, but thank goodness that doesn't happen. It took a couple days to figure out the pain meds because I am super sensitive to them. They want me up for 4 to 6 hours a day which I am determined to do and I do it most days, but the recovery is harder than I ever thought it would be, and the pain is intense , but as soon as I can feel my legs and I can walk I get up from that point on with no help :)
I have a few complications, the epideral is in too far and my legs are completely numb. I am not able to get out of bed like I'm supposed to. I have very sharp pains in my bladder. They have to remove the epideral, they are concerned that I may leak spinal fluid so I have to lie flat while, but thank goodness that doesn't happen. It took a couple days to figure out the pain meds because I am super sensitive to them. They want me up for 4 to 6 hours a day which I am determined to do and I do it most days, but the recovery is harder than I ever thought it would be, and the pain is intense , but as soon as I can feel my legs and I can walk I get up from that point on with no help :)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Surgery
I was so scared but strangely calm. I had never had any kind of surgery. My first 2 IVs were the week before. I stayed with Tony that night and we tried to encourage and calm each other. Tony had lost his dad to a heart attack, his mom to breast cancer, his grandma to colon cancer,and we had lost my grandpa Hancock to lung cancer, and my uncle David to pancreatic cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor. We had seen what cancer can do. We both just wanted it out of me.
We report to the surgery floor they take me back to fill out paperwork. I come back out and half of the waiting area was there for me. I gave lots of hugs and told everyone how much I love them. I feel calm and strong. They call me back. My mom and Tony can go with me. Carrie gets to come back for a little bit too. They have me change, do the IV and the surgeon comes and talks to me briefly, he tells me my left ovary looks suspicious and enlarged so he might have to remove it too. I was caught of guard with that news too!! again no symptoms and no idea I had issues with my ovaries!!! I worry there is cancer in the ovary too. The aneth...pain doctor, I am not even going to try to spell it!! came and talked to me. They talked me into an epider.al, later I would regret that choice. and he wheeled me into surgery room. I was scared, my glasses were off so I could not see anything, I was glad about that. I hold the nurses hand tightly as he gives me the spinal block. They ask me to lie back and that is my last memory until I wake up gasping for air. I cant breath,, I can't see I have never felt so sick in my life. They couldn't get me to wake up or to breath, they had to bag me again. I was scared and confused.
We report to the surgery floor they take me back to fill out paperwork. I come back out and half of the waiting area was there for me. I gave lots of hugs and told everyone how much I love them. I feel calm and strong. They call me back. My mom and Tony can go with me. Carrie gets to come back for a little bit too. They have me change, do the IV and the surgeon comes and talks to me briefly, he tells me my left ovary looks suspicious and enlarged so he might have to remove it too. I was caught of guard with that news too!! again no symptoms and no idea I had issues with my ovaries!!! I worry there is cancer in the ovary too. The aneth...pain doctor, I am not even going to try to spell it!! came and talked to me. They talked me into an epider.al, later I would regret that choice. and he wheeled me into surgery room. I was scared, my glasses were off so I could not see anything, I was glad about that. I hold the nurses hand tightly as he gives me the spinal block. They ask me to lie back and that is my last memory until I wake up gasping for air. I cant breath,, I can't see I have never felt so sick in my life. They couldn't get me to wake up or to breath, they had to bag me again. I was scared and confused.
Surrounded with Love
Tony called my parents my mom was not home but my dad rushed to the clinic. He got a hold of my mom and she called Carrie my baby sister who had the horrible job of calling the family. As I walked out to the car, numb and in shock, my dad pulled up he gave me a big hug and I melted into his arms. Carrie called me as I was getting in the car and I started to sob. I don't understand why I eat my fiber one bars damn it!!!! I don't have and never have had problems with my digestion what the hell???? She told me I was going to be ok and it was ok to cry. We headed to my grandma's house where my mom would be. My sisters all had left work and came over too. By 5:00 that night all of my brothers and sisters, except Shane cuz his kids were sick, and Chad cuz he was out of town. I asked my dad for a blessing we called my Uncle Rob to assist. Jodi and Rob and my cousin Robert and his wife Erin, my dear friend Shelley, Tony of course, Jana, Dana, Carrie and Q, Chris, Clint and Jen, my Grandma H and my parents. So much Love and support. Everyone stopped what they were doing and surrounded me with love, and it gave me so much strength. My blessing was wonderful it told me I was not alone that I would return to health that the doctors would take good care of me and that I had a guardian angel watching over me and guiding my doctors. After the blessing I was like ok what are we doing here everything is going to be good.
I was to meet with the surgeon the following morning, I thought for surgery, but it was just for an office visit. He ordered a CT scan because of my age and the size of the tumor they were concerned it had either started somewhere else or had spread. I was scheduled for the CT scan that Friday 14th. I went for the CT on Friday by now I had gone 5 days of no food only liquid diet. I would have to wait for the results until Monday the 17th when I went for surgery. That was hard waiting and wondering if it was in my liver too. Thank God it was not.
My family held a fast for me on Sunday the day before my surgery. We ended it at Jan's home, they had a wonderful dinner, I had chicken broth and Jello... Dana thought that was so cruel!! but I was ok with that. By now I had gone 7 days without food. If I can do that I can do anything!!! ha ha
My dad gave me another blessing but that was a bit of a wake up call. It told me it was going to be rough and some complications, but I had so many people praying for me friends and family. I was on so many prayer lists and temples and churches and so so many people praying for me. I got so much comfort and strength from that. My work had let all of my clients that had appts with me know and they were all praying for me. I was seeing how blessed I am. But that blessing scared the crap out of me, it was a reality check.
I was to meet with the surgeon the following morning, I thought for surgery, but it was just for an office visit. He ordered a CT scan because of my age and the size of the tumor they were concerned it had either started somewhere else or had spread. I was scheduled for the CT scan that Friday 14th. I went for the CT on Friday by now I had gone 5 days of no food only liquid diet. I would have to wait for the results until Monday the 17th when I went for surgery. That was hard waiting and wondering if it was in my liver too. Thank God it was not.
My family held a fast for me on Sunday the day before my surgery. We ended it at Jan's home, they had a wonderful dinner, I had chicken broth and Jello... Dana thought that was so cruel!! but I was ok with that. By now I had gone 7 days without food. If I can do that I can do anything!!! ha ha
My dad gave me another blessing but that was a bit of a wake up call. It told me it was going to be rough and some complications, but I had so many people praying for me friends and family. I was on so many prayer lists and temples and churches and so so many people praying for me. I got so much comfort and strength from that. My work had let all of my clients that had appts with me know and they were all praying for me. I was seeing how blessed I am. But that blessing scared the crap out of me, it was a reality check.
the diagnosis
Today is the 3rd day of Feb a Thursday I think. The last few weeks I don't know the day of the week, or the date. Unless I have a doctors appt. that's all the responsibilities I have had since the middle of Jan. That and paperwork and forms, hoping for medical aid, since my health insurance is more of a discount card, IDK how they can even call it insurance. But it will work out. I can't spend my energy on that right now. Thank God for my little sister Carrie she has taken care of most of that for me.
I feel like the last 3 weeks have been a crazy bad dream. I started to notice blood in my stool 3 days before Christmas. I had been feeling run down and tired and like I had a touch of the stomach flu. But there was more and more blood and it was not fresh and I knew it wasn't good. Finally after much urging from Tony, my friends and family. Especially my dear friend Lynette, I knew I could not talk to her again until I had an appt!! I made an appt. for Jan 6th @ Dr. Lowes Office. My friend Shelley went with me, the doctor told me it sounded like Colitis But I needed to do a Colonoscopy on the 12th.
Tony and I had planned to go to Vegas for the CES show so we decided to go anyway and I would start the prep for the test while in Mesquite, then drive home the night before the test. I was sick with the flu and pretty miserable so I stayed in the motel most of the time, but it was nice and I enjoyed it. The prep wasn't bad at all, I even fell asleep during it! ha ha ha but I could not eat any food, liquid diet only.
The day of the test Tony and Shelley went with me. I wasn't real nervous about the test. It was the first time I had even had an IV ever!!! that I didn't like, I don't do so good with needles, but I was brave. They took me back I got on the table the doctor came and talked to me briefly and they asked me to roll on my side as they gave me the meds to knock me out....only it didn't work so well. I was aware of the pain and I heard myself moaning finally I woke up completely during the procedure!!! I looked up at the nurse by my head and told her "your guys' drugs suck!" she said oh honey are you awake? I said um yeah!! and thats the last I remember until I woke up when they were done with tears streaming down my cheeks. I saw Tony and told him that they had hurt me. A nurse came by and told me she woke up during hers too and how awful it was. Tony Shelley and I were in the recovery room and the doctor came in and told me I had cancer. The tumor was of significant size and he was going to see if I could have surgery that day to remove it!!! he walked out and I started to cry I was angry and in shock so were Tony and Shelley. How could this be possible? F@*# cancer!! F@*# that!!! are you F@#*$% kidding me!!! was my reaction. Shelley said yep that's my Shell you are going to be just fine.
I feel like the last 3 weeks have been a crazy bad dream. I started to notice blood in my stool 3 days before Christmas. I had been feeling run down and tired and like I had a touch of the stomach flu. But there was more and more blood and it was not fresh and I knew it wasn't good. Finally after much urging from Tony, my friends and family. Especially my dear friend Lynette, I knew I could not talk to her again until I had an appt!! I made an appt. for Jan 6th @ Dr. Lowes Office. My friend Shelley went with me, the doctor told me it sounded like Colitis But I needed to do a Colonoscopy on the 12th.
Tony and I had planned to go to Vegas for the CES show so we decided to go anyway and I would start the prep for the test while in Mesquite, then drive home the night before the test. I was sick with the flu and pretty miserable so I stayed in the motel most of the time, but it was nice and I enjoyed it. The prep wasn't bad at all, I even fell asleep during it! ha ha ha but I could not eat any food, liquid diet only.
The day of the test Tony and Shelley went with me. I wasn't real nervous about the test. It was the first time I had even had an IV ever!!! that I didn't like, I don't do so good with needles, but I was brave. They took me back I got on the table the doctor came and talked to me briefly and they asked me to roll on my side as they gave me the meds to knock me out....only it didn't work so well. I was aware of the pain and I heard myself moaning finally I woke up completely during the procedure!!! I looked up at the nurse by my head and told her "your guys' drugs suck!" she said oh honey are you awake? I said um yeah!! and thats the last I remember until I woke up when they were done with tears streaming down my cheeks. I saw Tony and told him that they had hurt me. A nurse came by and told me she woke up during hers too and how awful it was. Tony Shelley and I were in the recovery room and the doctor came in and told me I had cancer. The tumor was of significant size and he was going to see if I could have surgery that day to remove it!!! he walked out and I started to cry I was angry and in shock so were Tony and Shelley. How could this be possible? F@*# cancer!! F@*# that!!! are you F@#*$% kidding me!!! was my reaction. Shelley said yep that's my Shell you are going to be just fine.
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